Text from The First Demo of 1995
| Description: | Full scrolltext from the demo |
| Text: | Welcome to 'The First Demo Of 1995'. All programming graphics and music by Waz of Zaw Productions on 1 January 1995! Anyway, have you all had a good Christmas and got the pressies you wanted? I know I did!
Let me tell you a wacky tale from December. Me and me best mate Gary were out shopping and after a shopathon, we saw in Pizza Hut: 'all you can eat for 3.99'. Of course we went in and scoffed our way through 20 pieces of pizza and lots of garlic bread.
All of a sudden this woman at the table behind us turns round and says 'One of you two smells nice'. So she walks up to us, smells our necks (embarrassing eh?) and says to me 'That's really nice, what have you got on?'. So I told her it was my Lynx Tempest and she says 'I'll have to get my husband some of that!'.
We couldn't help giggling, for a second I thought my luck was in as I thought she was saying we smelt nice cos she fancied me! If this ever happens to you, and it's not a nice woman who asks you, you could always tell her you have Hai Karate on!!
Anyway, a Happy New Year to: Jason 'Kenz' Mackenzie of Binary Zone (got the Beavis and Butthead comic yet, it's, like, cool! Mh! Huh Huh!) Danny G (told you I'd reveal the hidden tune on Merry Christmas 3!), Rob Rawson-Tetley (what a weird psychedelic SID chip!), Rory 'Rehearsal mania' Stamp, Andy Startin (what happened to Wolves on Boxing Day against Oldham?), Andy Roberts (is your answerphone on the blink?), John and Steve Rowlands (go out and buy 'Amber' by Autechre - good to code to!), Jon Wells (when is 10th Dan coming out?), Paul Hannay (write or ring me!), Adam Langdon (cheers for your wacky mail!), Leila Abbas (Happy Birthday on 3rd January!), Gary Thompson (Dr Weird is cool - huh huh!), Mike Powercuts (shame Barkay's gone - catchya in Ritz on Wednesday sometime!), Brian Turner of Commodore Cracker (hope you like the hacks I did!) and anyone else out there on this polluted globe we call 'Earth'.
Now then, go to your local record shop on January 16th and demand a copy of 'University' by Throwing Muses. The single 'Bright Yellow Gun' is superb and if the album can match the wonderful 'Red Heaven' then your ears are in for a treat!
The new Robert Newman video is hilarious, the best Jarvis ever and a brilliant mickeytake of Blur too! I've also had our ex-works Christmas do in Blackpool and it was cool, as I went on those 'Kentucky Derby' things where you have to roll a ball into a hole to make the horse move, and I won FOUR times on the trot! So there I was carrying these cuddly toys down the prom!
Special message from Beavis and Butthead: "Hey! Channel 4 are cool! Mh! Huh Huh! They're, like, showing our Moronathon on 6th January, which, like, doesn't suck! Like, uh, two and a half hours of, uh, us! Whoa! Cool! Mh! Huh Huh!"
By the way, isn't body piercing the most pathetic fashion idea ever? I mean most would be satisfied with their ears, but some have to do with their nipples, navels and even penises! Yeuch!
Also did anyone get any crap presents for Christmas? I confess to getting soap-on-a-rope from someone, and socks too! What are people trying to tell you when they buy you socks - that your feet smell? So in a way it's an insult really!
I got sick of hearing that East 17 crap over Chrimble too, that and Mariah Carey. Is it me or is she the worst thing in music since 2 Repetitive? (Techno techno techno notice!) It's all the same old soppy type ballads that couples -sorry that's incorrect- women love and won't be happy until their husband buys it for them. Why?
Still at least Power Rangers and Zig and Zag failed instead. Zig and Zag used to be good when they were first on The Big Breakfast, but now they're repetitive and dull! Yawnsville! Personally I want to see Monkey back on the telly. That was cool, with him and Pigsy. Loads in school used to do their Monkey impersonation (ie blow out of the mouth and wave a finger across!) and it was all over the top Japanese weirdness. Me and me mates used to make a song to the theme and it used to go: "Monkey is funky, he is so sick, he jumped off a mountain and crushed his d***". Hehe!
Now at last for all you people (yes Danny G that means you!) who want to access the hidden tune on 'Merry Christmas 3' I will reveal how now. Ready to write this? All you Frank Sidebottom fans out there should type in LITTLE FRANK IS BOBBINS (well he is just a piece of cardboard after all!) including the spaces, and the hidden tune and a hidden scrolly will be yours for the taking!
I think that's all for now, hope you enjoy this little demo, and one last thing. Go and order 'The Shoot-Em-Up Destruction Set from Psytronik NOW as I've seen a preview of the finished compilation and it looks nifty!
Au revoir until next time, Waz.
I'd rather wrap than Fleetwood Mac... |
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