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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
Schizophrenia
Hi People!
Herewith I want to say sorry for my strange post about a hunger-strike some time ago, also for my weird behaviour towards the dutch group Xenon where I was in as musician.
Sander/Focus, Gerard Hultink: Please excuse my messages in which I declared Xenon as a dangerous group and that you should be aware of it's members.
The reason for this behaviour is that I fell ill. They call my illness "Schizophrenia", also "Psychosis", a disease which initiated a lot of paranoid thoughts in me. I also started to hear voices from my circle of acquaintances and to see hallicunations, like faces at the wall etc. Those voices and hallucinations ordered me to stay up the nights for about 4 months and to care about scene matters, among other things.
I have passed some months in hospital and I take several medicaments for about one year now. Things are going well, also have a job now.
I don't want you to have a pity on me, but I want the sceners especially those I bothered to excuse me.
Read more about my schizophrenia in Vandalism News #40 which was released recently.
http://c64.rulez.org/onslaught/vandalism40.zip
Yours,
Arman Behdad
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CreaMD
Registered: Dec 2001
Posts: 3053 |
Yeah but my ass curently belongs someone completely else. Anyway I already have alternative gay group running behind the scenes. It's called Turbo64 - The Ultimate Retro Bonkers 64. But in order to be a member of the group you will have to make your own homepage with downloads of your old demos (or preferably downloads of not your old demos, or even better downloads of your favourite old games). Other important rules for the membership are that you must be inactive C64 user, you must not produce anything for C64 except of the C64 related websites, C64 flash sites, C64 related mp3 remixes and other C64 related garbage. Btw. I think I will take the whole Ironstone Partners in as a honorable members into Turbo64 coz so far they have released a lot of C64 related stuff which conforms the rules of our big and ever-growing group. ;-) |
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Shake
Posts: 133 |
Quote: Hey CreaMD, as you can see, there ARE interested persons who wants to join your new (gay) group, which is no wonder in a scene with a few girls and a bunch of horny c64 users. :P
So be careful with the soap since there are showers at scene parties! ;)
can't wait to see your first GAYMO |
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drake
Account closed
Registered: Dec 2002
Posts: 207 |
pch/unreal and sad/padua are definately in creamd's group ;-) together showering, making gaymo's....wow!!
the scene will be as kinky as never before!!! |
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T.M.R
Account closed
Registered: Dec 2001
Posts: 749 |
Must... resist... the urge... to post!! [runs away giggling =-] |
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
Quote: Always Ready is my second name.
...creamed ;-))
(But, don't tell it to my fiancee!! ;-)
ROFL :D !!
This will be an evergreen for a magazine/webzine chapter with the name "Best Forum Posts Ever" ;).
Shake: GAYMO, LOL!! Actually there was one little Fakemo with converted gay porn pics at c64.sk to download.
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
I couldn't trust my eyes when I have seen this...
http://creamd.swellserver.com/news/top_stories/outwithbang.php
Creamd! Change your handle and add an "e"!
ROFL |
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Optimus
Registered: Jan 2002
Posts: 122 |
I use to talk a lot with myself. I even do it while walking alone in the road (It's more feelingful here in Germany, since no soul is out after 8:00). I like this and don't regret it. Many of my actions are quite unpredictable. I could normally look like a psychotic but that wouldn't be the truth I think..
I have never heard voices (only some strange noices yesterday while I was playing bakti.net with my headphones at full), while faces appearing to me are just constant games of my brain (Afteralls, my new room here in Karlsruhe is painted with very random strokes that could be easilly misinterpreted) which then automatically are interpreted in explainable facts. I do like when this happens for a while, giving me little scares and then letting me explain how some lights or colors made me think so.
I always loved to read weird things, paranormal stories and insane writers (Like Strange Egnarts stuff, however most of my friends say it's bullshit but I don't really care, since I never told them I want to read something serious :P) but I never really had any paranormal experiences in my life, even if I'd like sometimes to (other times, I am just afraid a little). Perhaps it's just my serious interpretation filters of reality. Anyways..
Optimus
P.S. And my famous threads on Pouet must be a lot more insane that anything Arman might have written in here anyways :)
P.P.S. His article on VN40 was very interesting to me though. My favoritest read from the issue. At the beginning, it was so crazy that I thought it was a joke but then I was hooked..
P.P.P.S. I do feel anxious and depressed while sitting a lot of times in front of my computer though. Perhaps I should just avoid taking my (inexistant) scene activities so seriously.. |
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
Maybe you'll find two post about the same topic from me. After I have written and submitted one post I couldn't see my post in the topic! Maybe it takes some time until a post gets public because of problems with CSDB.
Sorry again...
To the Sysop : If you see my both posts about the same topic, please remove one! Thanks
Arman |
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
They say it is healthy to talk with yourself. Furthermore it isn't bad to see reflections of something at the wall like weird faces etc. as long as they are looking harmless and you know how they came about.
In my case they neither were harmless looking nor did I knew how they came about! :) They were full of grim and evil which was quite eerie. Looking this way they always warned me that something will happen when I don't follow the commands of my voices and other hallucinations. They looked like grimmy army officers! ;)
Having a little paranoia or seeing/hearing hallucinations now and then (I emphasize now and then, i.e. about one to three times in a lifetime!) is normal. Getting a bit nervous or paranoid of reading weird books is also normal I think, it's sometimes like a little natural kick you get.
Well, I watched the movie "23" and started to run around in my city (Wiesbaden) and our neighbour city (Frankfurt a.m.) being convinced to find anything paranormal or someone interesting to talk about the number "23" and all the world and his wife. I don't say that I wasn't successful, but about 85% of those outdoor-actions were complete paranoia. It's quite strange to me that I have got similar "commands" in terms of voices and optic hallicunations like the medias create "subliminal messages" for the population.
Maybe you want check
http://people.uleth.ca/~vokey/pdf/Submess.pdf
for informations about Subliminal Messages
or
http://www.heise.de/tp/deutsch/html/result.xhtml?url=/tp/deutsc..
about the same topic in german.
There you'll also find informatinos about the TV displaying subliminal messages in a fraction of a second and also a weird technique how to fold a 20 dollar note till you can see a burning WTC and a burning Pentagon on the back.
I have discovered those subliminal messages in the german TV for several times for years. Since those messages were very similar to the "commands" i have got and still get, it was no wonder that I have found the messages in the TV. I was "trained" somehow in the time of my psychosis. In a fraction of a second I see words and sentences on a blank wall or when I close my eyes, like "go OUT" or "Read this and that" aso. Anyone who love the movie "23" or stories about the illuminati, will love those links! ;P
Arman
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
ah, now it worked! Fine! Something with the links...
Arman |
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