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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
Schizophrenia
Hi People!
Herewith I want to say sorry for my strange post about a hunger-strike some time ago, also for my weird behaviour towards the dutch group Xenon where I was in as musician.
Sander/Focus, Gerard Hultink: Please excuse my messages in which I declared Xenon as a dangerous group and that you should be aware of it's members.
The reason for this behaviour is that I fell ill. They call my illness "Schizophrenia", also "Psychosis", a disease which initiated a lot of paranoid thoughts in me. I also started to hear voices from my circle of acquaintances and to see hallicunations, like faces at the wall etc. Those voices and hallucinations ordered me to stay up the nights for about 4 months and to care about scene matters, among other things.
I have passed some months in hospital and I take several medicaments for about one year now. Things are going well, also have a job now.
I don't want you to have a pity on me, but I want the sceners especially those I bothered to excuse me.
Read more about my schizophrenia in Vandalism News #40 which was released recently.
http://c64.rulez.org/onslaught/vandalism40.zip
Yours,
Arman Behdad
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drake
Account closed
Registered: Dec 2002
Posts: 207 |
most people arent depressive, but just a bit 'down'. i think that should be a better word. in dutch (my lang.) there is a huge difference between being depressive or only being down. |
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
Optimus: In Germany Depression is the No. 1 disease. Over 4 Million people have it here, we call it 'Volkskrankheit'.
I see a kind of unsureness in your last posts. You don't know whether you are ill or if you are still, let's call it -normal-, or if you need medical treatment or not. I don't know you, but I have made some experiences with the illness -depression- since I had a depressive phase before I finally got schizophrenia, and I have got to know a lot of depressive people in the hospital, and thus I can tell you something about it. As I said I have been depressive, too, but I wasn't just -down- and thought about why I haven't a girl (I have met already other known sceners who have this problem with girls, too!). Of course this attitude can be a symptom appearing before a depression starts, but under the illness depression I think of someone who either...
- sleeps all day and don't care about his life anymore (like hygienic, friendship aso.)
- or has regular times where (s)he is THAT down, that
(s)he has to cry a lot without any reason
- or suddenly has lost his interest for all (!) his former hobbies while there is no motivation at all to start ANYTHING new
- or has similar symptoms.
Please notice that it's the heart of a depressive person which is ill, while it's the mind of a schizophrenic person which has to be treated. I have a friend who is in the same age like me (I am 21). He is apparent as a bit of an aggressive person, who smoked once everyday joints and sit a lot in front of his computer and worked or had fun with it; now he drinks 5-6 bottles of beer a day and still works everyday a lot with his PC (fulltime). He says that he can "work" better when he drinks alcohol. Furthermore when I invite him to my place he tells me that he is afraid of the girls and other people outside who look at him in a strange way, and they don't like his lifestyle (!) while he knows that they don't know him at all. In my view his heart is ill and he is depressive!
Another example... I have got to know with a woman in the hospital where I was institutionalised. I could talk with her about a lot of things, she have been sympathetic and also did laugh like a normal person, but during two days in a week, she cried and wailed the whole day, without any reason.
These examples show what I understand of a real depression. But it does not mean that you, Optimus, aren't depressive, too, hehe. You never can't make it sure for 100% that you won't get depressive one time, but you can tackle the problem of why you are so sad sometimes. Just search for -Depression Volkskrankheit- with Google (non-german people can also search for Depression + Info, or + Depressive etc.) to get first information about this illness. Further you can also contact a psychotherapist near by you. The second option does mean that you grapple with your problems and that you possibly CAN get even more down than before, but this way you can get more sure about if you have an illness or not. Simple as that! :P
Dont care that much about that woman in the Atlantis-Site! Just follow your reason!
Since your handle is Optimus I believe that you will make it! :D
Arman
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Intensity
Account closed
Registered: May 2002
Posts: 337 |
Hey PPL!
Check out my article in the upcoming Vandalism News #46! There is a chapter about a wild dream I had in my schizophrenia period in spring 2004.
This illness has caused a lot of weird dreams which almost were like movies.
Have Phun!
Arman |
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Sander
Registered: Jan 2002
Posts: 493 |
Arman: no offence taken.
But let's face it, the average scener is great food for psychiatrists. I bet most of us have a story.
Which is ok really. |
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Krill
Registered: Apr 2002
Posts: 2970 |
I wonder what the reason for that is. Are people with mental illnesses more attracted to nerdy activities and scenes, or does the very same hobby turn people mentally ill? Or does it just seem to us as if among our fellow sceners, the percentage of mental problems is higher than society's average? Discussion please. :D |
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Style
Registered: Jun 2004
Posts: 498 |
Quote: Arman: no offence taken.
But let's face it, the average scener is great food for psychiatrists. I bet most of us have a story.
Which is ok really.
I dont :( |
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dalezy
Registered: Apr 2002
Posts: 476 |
Quote: I wonder what the reason for that is. Are people with mental illnesses more attracted to nerdy activities and scenes, or does the very same hobby turn people mentally ill? Or does it just seem to us as if among our fellow sceners, the percentage of mental problems is higher than society's average? Discussion please. :D
as a wise person once put it, the scene makes people bipolar. just watch pouet as a good example of communication and interaction and you will see an increasing rate of people who struggle not being manic all the time.
then again, that certain wise person could have been wrong and those who he thought might suffer from certain mental weakness are just actors trying to socialize in a very, very, odd way. |
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Graham
Account closed
Registered: Dec 2002
Posts: 990 |
I met more maniac people in real life than in scene. In most cases it's not obvious though, since people hide themselves behind their good manners and stuff like that. |
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Monte Carlos
Registered: Jun 2004
Posts: 358 |
did somebody watch a "beautiful mind"?
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Tch
Account closed
Registered: Sep 2004
Posts: 512 |
I think everybody is weird,one way or the other.
But ´normal´ people are by far the strangest I´ve met.
I find it hard to connect, when it´s all about TV,kids,cars and football. ;) |
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