| Text: | A GLIMPSE OF A MEETING, 31 JULY 2012 - SIXX AND HEDNING G*P LEADER CONFERENCE
FOUR MONTHS BEFORE HE HAD SEEN HIS FRIEND OFF AT DATASTORM AND WISHED HIM GODSPEED. SIXX HAD GOT ON. YOU COULD TELL THAT AT ONCE BY HIS TRAVELLED AIR, HIS SPORTY SUIT, AND FEARLESS GOTHENBURG ACCENT. FEW FELLOWS HAD TALENTS LIKE HIS, AND FEWER STILL COULD REMAIN UNSPOILED BY SUCH SUCCESS. SIXX' HEART WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND HE HAD DESERVED TO WIN. IT WAS SOMETHING TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT.
HEDNING'S THOUGHTS EVER SINCE LUNCH-TIME HAD BEEN OF HIS MEETING WITH SIXX, OF SIXX' INVITATION, AND OF THE GREAT ISLAND OF HÖNÖ WHERE SIXX LIVED. HE WAS CALLED LITTLE HEDNING BECAUSE, THOUGH HE WAS BUT SLIGHTLY OVER THE AVERAGE HEIGHT, HE GAVE ONE THE IDEA OF BEING A LITTLE SCENER BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF A BEER BELLY.
HIS HANDS WERE WHITE AND SMALL, HIS FRAME WAS FRAGILE, HIS VOICE WAS QUIET AND HIS MANNERS WERE REFINED. HE TOOK THE GREATEST CARE OF HIS FAIR SILKEN HAIR AND BEARD, AND USED PERFUME DISCREETLY ON HIS HANDKERCHIEF. THE HALF-MOONS OF HIS NAILS WERE PERFECT, AND WHEN HE SMILED YOU CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF A SNUS. HE WAS JUST A CO-ORGANIZER OF G*P STILL.
AS HE SAT AT HIS DESK IN LUND HE THOUGHT WHAT CHANGES THE LATEST TWO YEARS HAD BROUGHT. THE FRIEND WHOM HE HAD KNOWN UNDER A SHABBY AND NECESSITOUS GUISE HAD BECOME A BRILLIANT FIGURE IN THE C64 DISKMAG PRESS AND ON IRC. HE TURNED OFTEN FROM HIS TIRESOME FLOPPY DISK PRESERVATION EFFORTS (WHICH HE SECRETLY WORKED ON AT THE SCHOOL WHERE HE TAUGHT) TO GAZE OUT OF THE WINDOW. THE GLOW OF A SWEDISH SUMMER SUNSET COVERED THE GRASS PLOTS AND WALKS. IT CAST A SHOWER OF KINDLY GOLDEN DUST ON THE UNTIDY YOUNGSTERS AND DECREPIT OLD MEN WHO DROWSED ON THE BENCHES, IT FLICKERED UPON ALL THE MOVING FIGURES - ON THE CHILDREN WHO RAN SCREAMING ALONG THE GRAVEL PATHS AND ON EVERYONE WHO PASSED THROUGH THE GARDENS. HE WATCHED THE SCENE AND THOUGHT OF LIFE, AND (AS ALWAYS HAPPENED WHEN HE THOUGHT OF LIFE) HE BECAME SAD. A GENTLE MELANCHOLY TOOK POSSESSION OF HIM. HE FELT HOW USELESS IT WAS TO STRUGGLE AGAINST FORTUNE WHEN YOU ARE DEVOTED TO THE C64 SCENE, THIS BEING THE BURDEN OF WISDOM WHICH THE AGES HAD BEQUEATHED TO HIM.
HE REMEMBERED THE DISK COLLECTIONS OF DEMOS IN HIS BASEMENT AT HOME. HE HAD GOT THEM BY MAIL IN HIS LOWER SCHOOL DAYS, THOUGH HE WAS NEVER A SCENER BACK THEN, BUT MANY AN EVENING, AS HE SAT IN THE LITTLE ROOM OFF THE HALL, HE HAD BEEN TEMPTED TO GRAB ONE FROM THE BOXES OF DISKS AND SHOW A GREAT DEMO FROM 1989 OR SO, PERHAPS SOMETHING BY PANORAMIC, TO HIS WIFE. BUT SHYNESS HAD ALWAYS HELD HIM BACK, AND SO THE DISKS HAD REMAINED IN THE BASEMENT. AT TIMES HE REPEATED SCROLLTEXTS TO HIMSELF AND THIS CONSOLED HIM.
WHEN HIS HOUR HAD STRUCK HE STOOD UP AND TOOK LEAVE OF HIS DESK AND OF HIS FELLOW-CLERKS PUNCTILIOUSLY. HE EMERGED FROM UNDER THE FEUDAL ARCH OF CENTRAL LUND, A NEAT MODEST FIGURE, AND WALKED SWIFTLY UP BREDGATAN. THE GOLDEN SUNSET WAS WANING AND THE AIR HAD GROWN SHARP. A HORDE OF GRIMY CHILDREN POPULATED THE STREET. THEY STOOD OR RAN IN THE ROADWAY, OR CRAWLED UP THE STEPS BEFORE THE GAPING DOORS, OR SQUATTED LIKE MICE UPON THE THRESHOLDS. HEDNING GAVE THEM NO THOUGHT. THEY WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND THE C64 SCENE. THEY WERE DOOMED TO BE GAMERS AND LAMERS. HE PICKED HIS WAY DEFTLY THROUGH ALL THAT MINUTE VERMIN-LIKE LIFE AND UNDER THE SHADOW OF THE GAUNT SPECTRAL MANSIONS IN WHICH THE OLD PROFESSORS OF LUND HAD ROISTERED. NO MEMORY OF THE PAST TOUCHED HIM, FOR HIS MIND WAS FULL OF A PRESENT JOY.
HE HAD NEVER BEEN ON HÖNÖ, BUT HE KNEW THE VALUE OF THE NAME. HE KNEW THAT PEOPLE WENT THERE TO EAT OYSTERS, SHRIMPS, THE F4CG BURGER AND DRINK LIQUEURS AND ILLEGAL ALCOHOL, AND HE HAD HEARD THAT THE INHABITANTS THERE SPOKE IN AN ANCIENT DIALECT. ON TV HE HAD SEEN SHABBY VOLVOS AND TRASHY-DRESSED LADIES, ESCORTED BY OGRE LIKE MEN. THEY WORE NOISY DRESSES AND MANY WRAPS. THEIR FACES WERE NEVER POWDERED AND THEY NEVER CAUGHT UP THEIR DRESSES, WHEN THEY TOUCHED EARTH, LIKE UNALARMED SWEDES. HE HAD ALWAYS WATCHED WITHOUT INTEREST. IT WAS HIS HABIT TO WATCH NATIONAL TV SWIFTLY, AND WHENEVER HE FOUND HIMSELF IN GOTHENBURG LATE AT NIGHT HE HURRIED ON HIS WAY APPREHENSIVELY AND EXCITEDLY. SOMETIMES, HOWEVER, HE COURTED THE CAUSES OF HIS FEAR. HE CHOSE THE DARKEST AND NARROWEST STREETS AND, AS HE WALKED BOLDLY FORWARD, THE SILENCE THAT WAS SPREAD ABOUT HIS FOOTSTEPS TROUBLED HIM, THE WANDERING, SILENT FIGURES TROUBLED HIM, AND AT TIMES A SOUND OF LOW FUGITIVE LAUGHTER MADE HIM TREMBLE LIKE A LEAF.
THE NEXT DAY HE DROVE HIS MITSUBISHI GALANT, AND TURNED TO THE RIGHT WAY TOWARDS THE FERRY TO THE ISLAND OF HÖNÖ. SIXX REVITALIZING AND SAVING GENESIS PROJECT! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT POSSIBLE THREE YEARS BEFORE? STILL, NOW THAT HE REVIEWED THE PAST, HEDNING COULD REMEMBER MANY SIGNS OF FUTURE GREATNESS IN THE C64 SCENE. PEOPLE USED TO SAY THAT SIXX WAS WILD. OF COURSE, HE DID MIX WITH A RAKISH SET OF FELLOWS AT THAT TIME, DRANK FREELY WITH OLD-TIMER AMIGA SCENERS THAT NEVER RELEASED ANYTHING NEW AND HE ALSO BORROWED OLD HARDWARE ON ALL SIDES. IN THE END HE HAD GOT MIXED UP IN SOME SHADY AFFAIR, SOME FLOPPY TRANSACTION - AT LEAST, THAT WAS ONE VERSION OF HIS FLIGHT. FAKED STAMPS PERHAPS. BUT NOBODY DENIED HIM TALENT. THERE WAS ALWAYS A CERTAIN... SOMETHING IN SIXX THAT IMPRESSED YOU IN SPITE OF YOURSELF. EVEN WHEN HE WAS OUT AT ELBOWS AND AT HIS WITS' END FOR FLOPPIES HE KEPT UP A BOLD FACE. HEDNING REMEMBERED (AND THE REMEMBRANCE BROUGHT A SLIGHT FLUSH OF PRIDE TO HIS CHEEK) ONE OF SIXX' SAYINGS WHEN HE WAS IN A TIGHT CORNER - 'HALF-TIME NOW, BOYS,' HE USED TO SAY LIGHT-HEARTEDLY. 'WHERE'S MY CONSIDERING CAP?'
THAT WAS SIXX ALL OUT, AND, DAMN IT, YOU COULDN'T BUT ADMIRE HIM FOR IT.
HEDNING THROTTLED UP. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE HE FELT HIMSELF SUPERIOR TO THE PEOPLE HE PASSED. FOR THE FIRST TIME HIS SOUL REVOLTED AGAINST THE DULL INELEGANCE OF NOWADAYS CRACKING AND DEMO SCENE. THERE WAS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT - IF YOU WANTED TO SUCCEED YOU HAD TO GO C64. YOU COULD DO NOTHING ON PC. AS HE TOOK THE FERRY OVER THE WATER HE THOUGHT OF THE POOR PC SCENERS. THEY SEEMED TO HIM A BAND OF TRAMPS, HUDDLED TOGETHER ALONG THE MEMORY-BANKS, THEIR SHINY COMPUTERS WITHOUT SOULS, OR WITH SOULS MADE BY DUST AND SOOT, STUPEFIED BY THE PANORAMA OF MODERN HARDWARE. HE WONDERED WHETHER HE COULD WRITE A SCROLL- TEXT TO EXPRESS HIS VISION. PERHAPS SIXX MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET IT INTO SOME DEMO FOR HIM. COULD HE WRITE SOMETHING ORIGINAL? HE WAS NOT SURE WHAT IDEA HE WISHED TO EXPRESS, BUT THE THOUGHT THAT A POETIC MOMENT HAD TOUCHED HIM TOOK LIFE WITHIN HIM LIKE AN INFANT HOPE. HE STEPPED ON ON THE GAS PEDAL BRAVELY.
EVERY METER BROUGHT HIM NEARER TO HÖNÖ, THE GENESIS PROJECT INNER SANCTUM, FARTHER FROM HIS OWN SOBER INARTISTIC LIFE. A LIGHT BEGAN TO TREMBLE ON THE HORIZON OF HIS MIND. HE WAS NOT SO OLD - THIRTY-FOUR. HIS TEMPERAMENT MIGHT BE SAID TO BE JUST AT THE POINT OF MATURITY. THERE WERE SO MANY DIFFERENT MOODS AND IMPRESSIONS THAT HE WISHED TO EXPRESS IN THE SCENE. HE FELT THEM WITHIN HIM. HE TRIED TO WEIGH HIS SOUL TO SEE IF IT WAS A SCENER'S SOUL. MELANCHOLY WAS THE DOMINANT NOTE OF HIS TEMPERAMENT, HE THOUGHT, BUT IT WAS A MELANCHOLY TEMPERED BY RECURRENCES OF FAITH AND RESIGNATION AND SIMPLE JOY. IF HE COULD GIVE EXPRESSION TO IT IN AN INTRO SCROLLTEXT OR A DEMO PERHAPS MEN WOULD LISTEN. HE WOULD NEVER BE POPULAR IN THE 'MODERN SCENE', HE SAW THAT. HE COULD NOT SWAY THE CROWD, BUT HE MIGHT APPEAL TO A LITTLE CIRCLE OF KINDRED MINDS. THE C64 SCENE. THE OLDTIMERS, PERHAPS, WOULD RECOGNIZE HIM AS ONE OF THE OLDSCHOOL BY REASON OF THE GRUMPY AND GEEZER TONE OF HIS IDEAS, BESIDES THAT, HE WOULD PUT IN ALLUSIONS. HE BEGAN TO INVENT IDEAS AND PHRASES FROM THE NOTICE WHICH HIS FIRST RELEASES AND DEMOS HAD GOT AND WOULD GET.
'MR HEDNING HAS THE GIFT OF EASY AND GRACEFUL SUPPLY'... 'A WISTFUL SADNESS PERVADES THE INTRO SCROLLS'... 'THE SWEDISH NOTE'. IT WAS A PITY HIS HANDLE WAS NOT MORE ENGLISH-LOOKING. PERHAPS IT WOULD BE BETTER TO INSERT ANOTHER ENGLISH WORD BEFORE THE SURNAME - THE HEDNING, OR BETTER STILL, THE H34TH3N. HE WOULD SPEAK TO SIXX ABOUT IT.
HE PURSUED HIS REVERIE SO ARDENTLY THAT ON THE ISLAND HE PASSED HIS STREET AND HAD TO TURN BACK. AS HE CAME NEAR SIXX' HOUSE ON HÖNÖ, JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR, HE HALTED BEFORE THE DOOR IN INDECISION. FINALLY HE OPENED THE DOOR AND ENTERED.
THE AUTHENTIC RURAL FEELING AND NOISE OF THE HOUSE HELD HIM AT THE DOORWAY FOR A FEW MOMENTS. HE LOOKED ABOUT HIM, BUT HIS SIGHT WAS CONFUSED BY THE SHINING OF MANY SCREENS WITH C64 DEMOS AND PETSCII PRINTOUTS. THE KITCHEN SEEMED TO HIM TO BE FULL OF SIXX' KIDS AND HE FELT THAT THE PEOPLE WERE OBSERVING HIM CURIOUSLY. HE GLANCED QUICKLY TO RIGHT AND LEFT (FROWNING SLIGHTLY TO MAKE HIS ERRAND APPEAR SERIOUS), BUT WHEN HIS SIGHT CLEARED A LITTLE HE SAW THAT NOBODY HAD TURNED TO LOOK AT HIM - AND THERE, SURE ENOUGH, WAS SIXX, LEANING WITH HIS BACK AGAINST THE COMPUTER TABLE AND HIS FEET PLANTED FAR APART.
'HALLO, HONEY, OLD HERO, HERE YOU ARE! WHAT IS IT TO BE? WHAT WILL YOU HAVE? I'M TAKING A SHRIMP SANDWICH WITH MAYONNAISE - BETTER STUFF THAN WE GET ACROSS THE WATER. SODA? LITHIA? NO MINERAL? I'M THE SAME. SPOILS THE FLAVOUR... HERE, GARCON, BRING US TWO HALVES OF HÖNÖ BREAD, LIKE A GOOD FELLOW... WELL, AND HOW HAVE YOU BEEN PULLING ALONG SINCE I SAW YOU LAST? DEAR GOD, HOW OLD WE'RE GETTING! DO YOU SEE ANY SIGNS OF AGEING IN ME - EH, WHAT? A LITTLE GREY AND THIN ON THE TOP - WHAT?'
SIXX TOOK OFF HIS CAP AND DISPLAYED A LARGE BALD HEAD. HIS FACE WAS HEAVY, PALE, AND CLEAN-SHAVEN. HIS EYES, WHICH WERE OF BLUISH SLATE-COLOUR, RELIEVED HIS HEALTHY PALLOR AND SHONE OUT PLAINLY ABOVE THE VIVID RED SPORT SUIT HE WORE. BETWEEN THESE RIVAL FEATURES THE LIPS APPEARED THIN AND COLOURLESS. HE BENT HIS HEAD AND FELT WITH TWO SYMPATHETIC FINGERS THE ABSENCE OF ANY HAIR AT THE CROWN. HEDNING SHOOK HIS HEAD AS A DENIAL. SIXX PUT ON HIS SPORT CAP AGAIN.
'IT PULLS YOU DOWN,' HE SAID. 'C64 FIRST RELEASE SCENE LIFE. ALWAYS HURRY AND SCURRY, LOOKING FOR ORIGINALS AND SOMETIMES NOT FINDING IT - AND THEN, ALWAYS TO HAVE SOMETHING NEW IN YOUR STUFF. DAMN GAME DEVS AND ONSLAUGHT, I SAY, FOR A FEW DAYS. I'M DEUCED GLAD, I CAN TELL YOU, TO GET BACK TO THE OLD COUNTRY. DOES A FELLOW GOOD, A BIT OF A HOLIDAY. I FEEL A TON BETTER SINCE I LANDED AGAIN IN DEAR, DIRTY GOTHENBURG... HERE YOU ARE, HONEY. KRAWALL? SAY WHEN.'
'YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, MY BOY,' SAID SIXX. 'I DRINK MINE NEAT.'
'I DRINK VERY LITTLE AS A RULE,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING MODESTLY. 'AN ODD HALF-ONE OR SO WHEN I MEET ANY OF THE OLD CROWD, THAT'S ALL.'
'AH WELL,' SAID SIXX CHEERFULLY, 'HERE'S TO US AND TO OLD TIMES AND OLD ACQUAINTANCE.'
THEY SMACKED THEIR FOREHEADS TOGETHER AND DRANK THE TOAST.
'I MET SOME OF THE OLD GANG TODAY,' SAID SIXX. 'SPOT SEEMS TO BE IN A BAD WAY. WHAT'S HE DOING?'
'NOTHING,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING. 'HE'S GONE TO THE AMIGA.'
'BUT JUCKE HAS A GOOD SIT, HASN'T HE?'
'YES, HE'S STILL INTO C64.'
'I MET HIM ONE NIGHT IN GOTHENBURG AND HE SEEMED TO BE VERY FLUSH... POOR JUCKE! BOOZE, I SUPPOSE?'
'OTHER THINGS, TOO,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING SHORTLY.
SIXX LAUGHED.
'HEDNING,' HE SAID, 'I SEE YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED AN ATOM. YOU'RE THE VERY SAME SERIOUS PERSON THAT USED TO LECTURE ME ON IRC WHEN I HAD A SORE HEAD AND A FUR ON MY TONGUE. YOU'D WANT TO KNOCK ABOUT A BIT IN THE WORLD. HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN ANYWHERE EVEN FOR A TRIP?'
'I'VE BEEN TO DATASTORM,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING.
SIXX LAUGHED.
'DATASTORM!' HE SAID. 'GO TO LCP OR X - X, FOR CHOICE. THAT'D DO YOU GOOD.'
'HAVE YOU SEEN X?'
'I SHOULD THINK I HAVE! I'VE KNOCKED ABOUT THERE A LITTLE.'
'AND IS IT REALLY SO BEAUTIFUL AS THEY SAY?' ASKED LITTLE HEDNING.
HE SIPPED A LITTLE OF HIS KRAWALL WHILE SIXX FINISHED HIS BOLDLY.
'BEAUTIFUL?' SAID SIXX, PAUSING ON THE WORD AND ON THE FLAVOUR OF HIS DRINK. 'IT'S NOT SO BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW. OF COURSE IT IS BEAUTIFUL... BUT IT'S THE LIFE OF X, THAT'S THE THING. AH, THERE'S NO C64 PARTY LIKE X FOR GAIETY, MOVEMENT, EXCITEMENT...'
LITTLE HEDNING FINISHED HIS KRAWALL AND, AFTER SOME TROUBLE, SUCCEEDED IN CATCHING ANOTHER ONE.
'I'VE BEEN TO THE OUTSIDE POLISH BBQ, SIXX CONTINUED WHEN HE THREW AWAY THE EMPTY KRAWALL BAGS, 'AND I'VE BEEN TO ALL THE BIGGER GROUPS' TABLES. HOT STUFF! NOT FOR A PIOUS CHAP LIKE YOU, HONEY.'
LITTLE HEDNING SAID NOTHING UNTIL HE HAD FILLED UP TWO NEW KRAWALL BAGS, THEN HE TOUCHED HIS FRIEND'S FOREHEAD LIGHTLY AND RECIPROCATED THE FORMER TOAST. HE WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL SOMEWHAT DISILLUSIONED. SIXX' ACCENT AND WAY OF EXPRESSING HIMSELF DID NOT PLEASE HIM. THERE WAS SOMETHING VULGAR IN HIS FRIEND WHICH HE HAD NOT OBSERVED BEFORE. BUT PERHAPS IT WAS ONLY THE RESULT OF LIVING IN HÖNÖ AMID THE BUSTLE AND THE INBRED. THE OLD PERSONAL CHARM WAS STILL THERE UNDER THIS NEW GAUDY MANNER. AND, AFTER ALL, SIXX HAD LIVED, HE HAD SEEN THE WORLD. LITTLE HEDNING LOOKED AT HIS FRIEND ENVIOUSLY.
'EVERYTHING AT X IS GAY,' SAID SIXX. 'THEY BELIEVE IN ENJOYING LIFE - AND DON'T YOU THINK THEY'RE RIGHT? IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY YOURSELF PROPERLY YOU MUST GO TO X. AND, MIND YOU, THEY'VE A GREAT FEELING FOR THE SWEDES THERE. FUCK ME, EVEN THE SCANIANS! AND DANES! WHEN THEY HEARD I WAS FROM HÖNÖ THEY WERE READY TO EAT ME, MAN.'
LITTLE HEDNING TOOK FOUR OR FIVE SIPS FROM HIS BAG.
'TELL ME,' HE SAID, 'IS IT TRUE THAT X IS SO... IMMORAL AS THEY SAY?'
SIXX MADE A CATHOLIC GESTURE WITH HIS RIGHT ARM.
'EVERY PARTY IS IMMORAL,' HE SAID. 'OF COURSE YOU DO FIND SPICY BITS AT X. GO TO ONE OF THE LIVE SHOWS, FOR INSTANCE. THAT'S LIVELY, IF YOU LIKE, WHEN JEROEN TEL BEGIN TO LET HIMSELF LOOSE. YOU KNOW WHO HE IS, I SUPPOSE?'
'I'VE HEARD OF HIM,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING.
SIXX DRANK OFF HIS KRAWALL AND SHOOK HIS HEAD.
'AH,' HE SAID, 'YOU MAY SAY WHAT YOU LIKE. THERE'S NO MAN LIKE JEROEN - FOR STYLE, FOR GO.'
'THEN IT IS AN IMMORAL PARTY,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING, WITH TIMID INSISTENCE - 'I MEAN, COMPARED WITH LCP OR DATASTORM?'
'LCP!' SAID SIXX. 'IT'S SIX OF ONE AND HALF A DOZEN OF THE OTHER. YOU ASK JUCKE, MY BOY. I SHOWED HIM A BIT ABOUT X WHEN HE WAS OVER THERE IN 96. HE'D OPEN YOUR EYE... I SAY, HONEY, DON'T MAKE CHAMPAGNE OF THAT KRAWALL, LIQUOR UP.'
'NO, REALLY.'
'O, COME ON, ANOTHER ONE WON'T DO YOU ANY HARM. WHAT IS IT? THE SAME AGAIN, I SUPPOSE?'
'WELL... ALL RIGHT.'
'THE SAME AGAIN, IT IS!... WILL YOU TAKE A SNUS, HONEY?'
SIXX PRODUCED HIS SNUS-BOX. THE TWO FRIENDS GRABBED SOME SNUS AND TASTED IT IN SILENCE UNTIL THEIR KRAWALLS WERE PREPARED.
'I'LL TELL YOU MY OPINION,' SAID SIXX, EMERGING AFTER SOME TIME FROM THE MIND CLOUDS OF SNUS IN WHICH HE HAD TAKEN REFUGE, 'IT'S A GRIM WORLD. TALK OF IMMORALITY! I'VE HEARD OF CASES - WHAT AM I SAYING? - I'VE KNOWN THEM, CASES OF... IMMORALITY...'
SIXX THOUGHTFULLY MOVED AROUND HIS SNUS AND THEN, IN A CALM HISTORIAN'S TONE, HE PROCEEDED TO SKETCH FOR HIS FRIEND SOME PICTURES OF THE CORRUPTION WHICH WAS LIFE IN TODAY'S SCENE. HE SUMMARIZED THE VICES OF MANY PARTIES AND SEEMED INCLINED TO AWARD THE PALM TO EDISON. SOME THINGS HE COULD NOT VOUCH FOR (HIS FRIENDS HAD TOLD HIM), BUT OF OTHERS HE HAD HAD PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. HE SPARED NEITHER RANK NOR CASTE. HE REVEALED MANY OF THE SECRETS OF CRACKING GROUPS ON THE CONTINENT AND DESCRIBED SOME OF THE PRACTICES WHICH WERE FASHIONABLE IN HIGH SOCIETY, AND ENDED BY TELLING, WITH DETAILS, A STORY ABOUT A GERMAN CRACKER CALLED SNACKY - A STORY WHICH HE KNEW TO BE TRUE. LITTLE HEDNING WAS ASTONISHED.
'AH, WELL,' SAID SIXX, 'HERE WE ARE IN OLD JOG-ALONG HÖNÖ WHERE NOTHING IS KNOWN OF SUCH THINGS.'
'HOW DULL YOU MUST FIND IT,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING, 'AFTER ALL THE OTHER PLACES YOU'VE SEEN!'
'WELL,' SAID SIXX, 'IT'S A RELAXATION TO COME OVER HERE, YOU KNOW. I'M FROM THIS PLACE, AND NOW I LIVE HERE AGAIN. AND, AFTER ALL, IT'S THE OLD COUNTRY, AS THEY SAY, ISN'T IT? YOU CAN'T HELP HAVING A CERTAIN FEELING FOR IT. THAT'S HUMAN NATURE... BUT TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF. ZYRON TOLD ME YOU HAD... TASTED THE JOYS OF G*P MEMBERSHIP. TWO YEARS AGO, WASN'T IT?'
LITTLE HEDNING BLUSHED AND SMILED.
'YES,' HE SAID. 'I WAS ASKED TO JOIN IN 2010. BY YOU ACTUALLY. DON'T YOU RECALL?'
'I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO LATE IN THE DAY TO OFFER MY BEST WISHES,' SAID SIXX. 'I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADDRESS OR I'D HAVE DONE SO AT THE TIME.'
HE EXTENDED HIS HAND, WHICH LITTLE HEDNING TOOK.
'WELL, HONEY,' HE SAID, 'I WISH YOU AND THE GROUP EVERY JOY IN LIFE, OLD CHAP, AND TONS OF FIRST RELEASES, AND MAY YOU NEVER DIE TILL I SHOOT YOU. AND THAT'S THE WISH OF A SINCERE FRIEND, A NEW, BUT OLD FRIEND. YOU KNOW THAT?'
'I KNOW THAT,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING.
'ANY YOUNGSTERS?' SAID SIXX.
LITTLE HEDNING BLUSHED AGAIN.
'WE HAVE ONE CHILD,' HE SAID.
'OH?'
'A LITTLE BOY. NAMED Z-NEXX. HE JOINED LAST YEAR.'
SIXX SLAPPED HIS FRIEND SONOROUSLY ON THE BACK.
'BRAVO,' HE SAID, 'I WOULDN'T DOUBT YOU, HONEY. IT'S NOT COMMON WITH FRESH BLOOD IN THE SCENE. I KNOW YOU WOULD DO FINE AS A CO-ORGANIZER. I DID PROMOTE YOU TO THAT, YES?'
LITTLE HEDNING SMILED, LOOKED CONFUSEDLY AT HIS BAG O' KRAWALL AND BIT HIS LOWER LIP WITH THREE CHILDISHLY WHITE FRONT TEETH.
'I HOPE YOU'LL SPEND AN EVENING WITH US,' HE SAID, 'THE NEW MEMBERS WILL BE DELIGHTED TO MEET YOU. WE CAN HAVE A LITTLE MUSIC COMPO AND--'
'THANKS AWFULLY, OLD CHAP,' SAID SIXX, 'I'M SORRY WE DIDN'T MEET EARLIER. BUT I MUST TELL YOU THAT I WILL BE AN INACTIVE MEMBER AFTER NEXT MONTH.'
'WHAT? INACTIVE? WHO WILL LEAD THE GROUP? COULD YOU NOT VISIT ME AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. NEXT WEEK, PERHAPS...?'
'I'M AWFULLY SORRY, OLD MAN. YOU SEE I'M OVER HERE WITH ANOTHER FELLOW, CLEVER OLD CHAP HE IS TOO, AND WE ARRANGED TO GO TO A SMALL AMIGA-PARTY. ONLY FOR THAT... PLAY CANNON FODDER.'
'O, IN THAT CASE...'
'BUT WHO KNOWS?' SAID SIXX CONSIDERATELY. 'NEXT YEAR I MAY TAKE A LITTLE SKIP OVER THERE NOW THAT I'VE BROKEN THE ICE. IT'S ONLY A PLEASURE DEFERRED.'
'VERY WELL,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING, 'AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT QUITTING THE C64 SCENE FOREVER THAT'S AGREED NOW, ISN'T IT?'
'YES, THAT'S AGREED,' SAID SIXX. 'NEXT YEAR IF I COME TO LUND WE CAN HAVE A DEMO PARTY. OH, AND FROM NOW ON YOU WILL BE THE MAIN ORGANIZER IN G*P. WORLD DOMINATION, PAROLE D'HONNEUR!'
'AND TO CLINCH THE BARGAIN,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING, CHOCKED AND CONFUSED, 'WE'LL JUST HAVE ONE MORE NOW.'
SIXX TOOK OUT A LARGE GOLD WATCH AND LOOKED AT IT.
'IS IT TO BE THE LAST?' HE SAID. 'BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I HAVE ANOTHER BOTTLE OF VODKA.'
'O, YES, POSITIVELY,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING.
'VERY WELL, THEN,' SAID SIXX, 'LET US HAVE ANOTHER ONE AS A DEOC AN DOIRUS - THAT'S GOOD VERNACULAR FOR A SMALL KRAWALL, I BELIEVE.'
LITTLE HEDNING PICKED UP MORE BAGS OF BRAUSE-PULVER. THE BLUSH WHICH HAD RISEN TO HIS FACE A FEW MOMENTS BEFORE WAS ESTABLISHING ITSELF. A TRIFLE MADE HIM BLUSH AT ANY TIME, AND NOW HE FELT WARM AND EXCITED. THREE SMALL KRAWALLS HAD GONE TO HIS HEAD AND SIXX' STRONG SNUS HAD CONFUSED HIS MIND, FOR HE WAS A DELICATE AND ABSTINENT PERSON. THE ADVENTURE OF MEETING SIXX AFTER FOUR MONTHS, OF FINDING HIMSELF WITH SIXX ON HÖNÖ SURROUNDED BY LIGHTS AND NOISE, OF LISTENING TO SIXX' STORIES AND OF SHARING FOR A BRIEF SPACE SIXX' VAGRANT AND TRIUMPHANT LIFE, UPSET THE EQUIPOISE OF HIS SENSITIVE NATURE. HE FELT ACUTELY THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HIS OWN LIFE AND HIS FRIEND'S, AND IT SEEMED TO HIM UNJUST. BUT WOULD THAT CHANGE NOW. FOR REAL? SIXX WAS HIS SUPERIOR IN AGE AND SCENE EDUCATION. A MAN OF OLD SCENE. HE WAS SURE THAT HE COULD DO SOMETHING BETTER THAN HIS FRIEND HAD EVER DONE, OR COULD EVER DO, SOMETHING HIGHER THAN MERE TAWDRY PETSCII ART ON A BBS IF HE ONLY GOT THE CHANCE.
THEY GOT THEIR NEW DRINKS FIXED. LITTLE HEDNING GAVE ONE BAG TO HIS FRIEND AND HELD THE OTHER BOLDLY.
'WHO KNOWS?' HE SAID, AS THEY LIFTED THEIR BAGS. 'WHEN YOU COME TO LUND NEXT YEAR, OR ONE AFTER THAT, I MAY HAVE THE PLEASURE OF SHOWING YOU A GLORIOUS G*P, AND PERHAPS A PARTY LIKE THE ONES YOU SPEAK ABOUT. I AM REALLY THANKFUL THAT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAD G*P INTO GLORY AND FAME, TO CONTINUE THE ROAD THAT YOU HAVE SHOWED US.
SIXX IN THE ACT OF DRINKING CLOSED ONE EYE EXPRESSIVELY OVER THE BAG. WHEN HE HAD DRUNK HE SMACKED HIS LIPS DECISIVELY, THREW AWAY HIS BAG AND SAID, 'I KNOW THAT YOU WILL SUCCEED, MY BOY. I'M GOING TO HAVE MY FLING FIRST AND SEE A BIT OF LIFE ON THIS ISLAND AND THE WORLD BEFORE I PUT MY HEAD BACK IN THE SACK - IF I EVER DO.'
'SOME DAY YOU WILL,' SAID LITTLE HEDNING.
SIXX TURNED HIS ORANGE CAP AND SLATE-BLUE EYES FULL UPON HIS FRIEND.
'YOU THINK SO?' HE SAID.
'YOU'LL PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE SACK,' REPEATED LITTLE HEDNING STOUTLY, 'LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. ONCE A C64 SCENER, ALWAYS A C64 SCENER. YOU JUST NEED TO LET GO OF ALL THE PERVERTED PC BUSINESS. EVEN THE AMIGA.'
HE HAD SLIGHTLY EMPHASIZED HIS TONE, AND HE WAS AWARE THAT HE HAD BETRAYED HIMSELF, HE DID USE A PC TO PRESERVE OLD FLOPPIES, AND USED VICE FROM TIME TO TIME WHEN UPDATING CSDB, BUT, THOUGH THE COLOUR HAD HEIGHTENED IN HIS CHEEK, HE DID NOT FLINCH FROM HIS FRIENDS' GAZE. SIXX WATCHED HIM FOR A FEW MOMENTS AND THEN SAID, 'I GAVE YOU THE MAIN ORGANIZING ROLE. IF EVER IT OCCURS THAT I WILL GRACE THE LEADERSHIP AGAIN, YOU MAY BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THERE'LL BE NO MOONING AND SPOONING ABOUT IT. I MEAN TO DOMINATE THE WORLD. AND YOU WILL MAKE G*P EVEN GREATER, SO WHEN I COME BACK, THE OLD SHIP WILL HAVE A GOOD FAT ACCOUNT AT THE SCENE BANK OR IT WON'T DO FOR ME.'
LITTLE HEDNING SHOOK HIS HEAD.
'WHY, MAN ALIVE,' SAID SIXX, VEHEMENTLY, 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? I'VE ONLY TO SAY THE WORD AND TOMORROW I CAN LEAD ANOTHER GROUP AND DOMINATE THE WORLD. YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT? WELL, I KNOW IT. THERE ARE HUNDREDS - WHAT AM I SAYING? - THOUSANDS OF LAZY GERMAN AND SCANDINAVIAN GROUPS, ROTTEN WITH SKILL, THAT'D ONLY BE TOO GLAD... YOU WAIT A WHILE, MY BOY. SEE IF I DON'T PLAY MY CARDS PROPERLY. WHEN I GO ABOUT A THING I MEAN BUSINESS, I TELL YOU. YOU JUST WAIT.'
HE TOSSED HIS KRAWALL TO HIS MOUTH, FINISHED HIS DRINK AND LAUGHED LOUDLY. THEN HE LOOKED THOUGHTFULLY BEFORE HIM AND SAID IN A CALMER TONE, 'BUT I'M IN NO HURRY. THEY CAN WAIT. I DON'T FANCY THE OTHERS, YOU KNOW. THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE ELITE GROUP, G*P. G*P FOR LIFE, AS I ALWAYS SAY. I'M JUST FUCKING WITH YOU.'
HE IMITATED WITH HIS MOUTH THE ACT OF TASTING AND MADE A WRY FACE.
'MUST GET A BIT STALE, I SHOULD THINK,' HE SAID. 'OFF YOU GO. I WILL BE BACK, AND YOU'LL DO JUST FINE. WITH THE SKILLS I HAVE PLANTED IN G*P, THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD FUCK IT UP. AND TRUST ME. G*P RUNS THROUGH MY VEINS. AND I WILL CALL YOU FROM TIME TO TIME, TO CHECK OUT HOW'S EVERYTHING IS GOING. YOU WILL NOT FAIL. AND IF YOU TRY TO, I WILL FORCE YOU OFF THE SCENE, FOR REALS.'
HE SMILED, AND LITTLE HEDNING WAS NOT SURE IF HE WAS JOKING OR NOT, BUT SMILED BACK, STILL CONFUSED AND EXCITED.
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LITTLE HEDNING, ONLY WEARING HIS UNDERWEAR, SAT IN THE ROOM OFF THE HALL, HOLDING A 1541 IN HIS ARMS. A C64 LAY BEFORE HIM ON THE TABLE. HE TURNED IT ON CAUTIOUSLY WITH HIS LEFT HAND LEST HE SHOULD DROP THE DRIVE AND BEGAN TO WATCH THE FIRST DEMO ON THE DISK.
SIXTEEN COLOURS, FANTASTIC EFFECTS AND GREAT MUSIC BY STINSEN AND MCH FILLED THE ROOM.
HE FELT THE RHYTHM OF A G*P DEMO ABOUT HIM IN THE ROOM. HOW GLORIOUS IT WAS! COULD HE, TOO, MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT, EXPRESS THE TRUE SCENE SPIRIT IN A DEMO? THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS HE WANTED TO TRY, HIS SENSATION OF A FEW DAYS BEFORE ON THE FIRST REAL GUBBDATA PARTY, FOR EXAMPLE. IF HE COULD GET BACK INTO THAT MOOD AGAIN...
THEN THE PHONE RANG. IT WAS SIXX. WITH EXCITEMENT LITTLE HEDNING ANSWERED, AND TOLD HIM NOT TO WORRY. GENESIS PROJECT HAD CONTINUED TO DOMINATE, AND LITTLE HEDNING WAS REMINDED THAT EVEN IF HE WAS A MEDIOCRE PIXEL ARTIST AND COULDN'T MAKE MUSIC, HE COULD ORGANIZE THIS GROUP, AND DELIVER TONS OF ORIGINALS TO THE CRACKERS. AND THE JOY OF SEEING THE GROUP WORK TOGETHER AND KEEP THE OLD C64 ALIVE, THE FEELING MADE HIM EXPERIENCE THE WHOLE DATA WORLD IN THE REAL WORLD.
THE FRIENDS HUNG UP.
HEDNING HAD GROWN A BEER BELLY, HAD VISITED X, RELEASED QUALITY RELEASES FOR A WHILE NOW - THANKS TO THE MEETING WITH SIXX A COUPLE OF MONTHS BEFORE, HE WAS NOT LITTLE HEDNING ANYMORE.
ON HÖNÖ, SIXX SAT ALONE IN HIS UNDERWEAR. HE WAS HAPPY, PLAYED WITH A BRAUSE-PULVER BAG, AND FIXED A KRAWALL TO CELEBRATE THE FEELING HE HAD. HE WOULD BE BACK, SOME DAY, LIKE A KING IN THE MOUNTAIN, LIKE OGIER THE DANE, HE WOULD AWAIT SUMMONS TO ARISE WITH HIS KNIGHTS AND DEFEND HIS FAMILY IN A TIME OF DEADLY PERIL. AND UNTIL THEN HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A THING. HE LOGGED ON TO THE HIDDEN TO START A FLAME WAR, AND FELT MORE ALIVE THAN EVER. THE C64 REFUSED TO DIE, AND G*P WOULD KEEP ON PUMPING FRESH BLOOD INTO HIS BELOVED COMPUTER, AND THOUSANDS OF OTHER BREAD BOXES AROUND THE WORLD FOR YEARS TO COME.
TEXT BY HEDNING (WITH SOME HELP FROM A CHAP NAMED JOYCE).
GRAPHICS, MUSIC AND CODE BY MERMAID. |
