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2011-07-28 05:40

The Phantom

Registered: Jan 2004
Posts: 360

I'm back baby....

Hey everyone.

Just a few words that I need to tell you of.

Since November of 2010, I was once again diagnosed with Cancer (basal cell carcinoma or Skin cancer). I had pictures of it on Facebook, not sure if they're still up, but that's not why I'm posting this..

Last week (07/22/2011), I went in for surgery to have it removed. I can't tell you how much of an area that was removed, but the end result was 11 stitches.

Since November, I haven't been as active in the scene as I wanted to be. A lot of my inactivity was based on numerous visits to various doctors, only to get sent to some other doctor and so on. I've seen more doctors in the last 6 months than most people do in a lifetime.

I haven't been very productive because the cancer was on my left shoulder blade, and often started hurting or itching or just being a pain in my shoulder, and as always, it wouldn't start until my assembler was loaded. So I took a break. A long break. Also, the cancer took a lot of my energy.

I have another visit to my doctor August 1st. This visit will determine whether the cancer is gone, or if I'll have to undergo more surgery. I am not hopeful because this is my 2nd bout with Cancer and it does funny things to a person. I wish they would simply inject me with Chemo and get it over already. Besides, I could use the hair loss :D

I just want everyone to know that I am back to coding and drawing and have several things I want to do before this year ends.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess I just wanted everyone to know what was going on with me.

For YEARS, this cancer has tormented me. I wouldn't take off my shirt in public anymore. I wouldn't swim anymore. It put me in such a reclusive state that I shut myself off from the world. It seemed anytime I took my shirt off, I would get asked questions from adults and children. As soon as I told them it was cancer, they backed away and acted as if I were contagious. It's not a good feeling.

Today, I feel more energy than I've felt in YEARS! I don't feel bogged down, my mind isn't clogged anymore and I feel like I can conquer just about anything I set my mind to.

I look forward to making a demo or 5 in the upcoming year(s).

Thanks for reading.

Eric Campbell/The Phantom

2011-07-28 07:04

Stainless Steel

Registered: Mar 2003
Posts: 966

Glad you're doing better. Take care.

2011-07-28 07:29

Conrad

Registered: Nov 2006
Posts: 847

Good to hear that you're getting better. Cancer is a horrible disease, and the sad thing is... I think a group of professionals out there have already found ways to cure it. My grandfather has been saying that for years, and that our governments and health services don't want to deliver this cure to every solitary patient in the world. I think they just want us to die, because of how remorseless and greedy they are.

Anyway, glad you're better. I just recovered from a virus called Bells-Palsy, though this didn't affect my c64 activity :).... until just recently due to another and more joyful reason. So I'll be "back baby" in a few weeks. ;)

2011-07-28 07:40

ready.

Registered: Feb 2003
Posts: 441

reading your post Eric, makes me think how every one of us has stuggles in his/her life, some might have heavier struggles than others, but still everyone struggles with life. Personally I believe struggles are a great chance to sit down and collect all the parts of your life, set priorities, especially with the people you love the most and realize how important they are.

I lost a 3 days old daughter in april 2005. I remeber praying God a lot to give me and my wife the strength to go on. I knew there was a caring God who was there to help me face the struggles of life. In that occasion I really resurrected from the death of sadness with Jesus.

I also think that this hobby about Commodore 64, considered weird by most people on earth, is a great way to express yourself. Demos, graphics, music are all expressions of our inner state.
The demo parts I coded around april 2005 still bring me back to that period and makes me realize how I and my family got out of it and how far we have gone since then (we have 2 kids with us now). It was nice to have a target back then, when I just wanted to turn everything off and let myself go.

Thank you for your post, thank you for sharing all your struggle with us. It is great that you have new targets about coding. Having no targets leads to depression and both your mind and your body decay.

Hope to see some stuff from you and wish you all the best. Please keep us up to date!

regards,
Daniele

2011-07-28 08:00

Moloch

Registered: Jan 2002
Posts: 2925

TP - Cancer is one of those dirty beasts, I've lost multiple family and friends to it over my lifetime.

Glad to hear everything is good to go now. I fully expect to see multiple releases this year from you Eric. No more slacking! ;)

---

Conrad - Bells-Palsy, eh? I'm happy to hear you've "recovered", does this mean you've regained full movement on the side of your face affected?

2011-07-28 08:40

Merman

Registered: Dec 2002
Posts: 140

Good to hear you are doing well Eric, and hoping you get good news at your next check-up.

Just been through a major health scare myself, 12 days in hospital fighting an infection. But I'm back stronger than ever (must be the steroids :) )

2011-07-28 10:27

The Phantom

Registered: Jan 2004
Posts: 360

@Ready: I'm a bit late, but I am sorry for your loss.

I lost my mother 8 years ago and man, it still seems like yesterday.
She died of a massive heart attack at, of all places, White Castle. Needless to say, I haven't eaten a white caste burger since that time.
What makes this hurt even more is my parents were going to move into their new home in Vegas the next day.
To make that even worse, 2 weeks prior to her passing was the last time I saw her alive, and the last time I told her I loved her. I beat myself up for 5 years, even knowing she knew I loved her.

This is my 2nd go with cancer. I wasn't so talkative with the first round because I let it get the best of me. This time around, I want everyone to know.

It (my cancer) grew to the size of a golfball (flat). It used to be a mole on my back! I lost energy, thought processes, couldn't concentrate for long periods of time, math was confusing and sometimes my left arm and shoulder would go completely numb. When driving for more than 2 hours, I would get a sharp pain in my shoulder until I stopped driving. Every joint in my body would ache every morning and I was limited to certain foods I could tolerate.

It hasn't been an easy 9 months. I look forward to gaining my appetite back, man I miss eating.

What I really look forward to is getting a demo done.

Thanks everyone. I do hope the comments continue and I will answer whatever needs to be answered about this particular cancer.

2011-07-28 12:09

dEViLOCk

Registered: Jul 2011
Posts: 12

i had a surgery too this spring, almost died of a sepsis. had a huge bowel resection and survived. maybe this is the reason returning to the scene for me too. it's beyond words how important it is to have something catching you up after such a cut in life. i also recognized due to that how much i hate the word "nostalgia", 'cause this is not just nostalgia, it's a way of life, a way to express yourself and a sort of home you can return to if things are getting really fucked up in life.

2011-07-28 16:26

Danzig

Registered: Jun 2002
Posts: 440

@devilock: *WORD*

2011-07-28 17:15

bugjam

Registered: Apr 2003
Posts: 2583

Yep, couldn´t agree more.
@The Phantom: glad you´re better! Fingers crossed for you and everyone else with serious problems.

2011-07-28 20:13

Sander

Registered: Jan 2002
Posts: 493

<3 Glad to know you're doing better now. Keeping my fingers crossed for the 1st of august.

2011-07-28 21:51

FATFrost
Account closed

Registered: Sep 2003
Posts: 211

Lets all make a demo to say how much we care about each other and send a message to someone we have lost? After all, we create because of our emotions don't we? i'm up for it!!! and i had a blood clot in my leg and they nearly chopped it off btw!!!! ;)

2011-07-29 01:38

Jon
Account closed

Registered: Apr 2005
Posts: 247

Best of luck, Eric. I hope all goes well on the first.

J

2011-07-29 04:29

Kickback

Registered: Apr 2004
Posts: 97

Eric there are different treatments you can get for that, trust me I know. And I have you beat on doctors bro LOL! You should ask your doctor about Light Therapy or PUVA.

Also unless your doctor is telling you your lymph nodes are compromised then I wouldn't worry to much. Once that happens the big guns come out then.

If your cancer is in a localized area (your shoulder) more direct treatments can be performed also. I would seriously look into that before they start cutting. One problem with cutting is the spread of the cancer from the generalized area.

Talk to your doctor, if your not getting the right answers I would call up Cancer Treatment Centers Of America. They are REALLY good at what they do and take your feelings into GREAT consideration!!

Call them and talk to them about your case, its free and they will really inform you about what options you have!

Glad your feeling well again and best of lucky!!

2011-07-29 06:17

The Phantom

Registered: Jan 2004
Posts: 360

@kickback.. I went through a cancer treatment center in november last year, they took a biopsy and concluded it was Basal cell carcinoma, which I was hoping for (far better than melanoma, which I thought was what I had). When I went back for surgery, I talked with the financial bitch about making payments, she replied "What do you think we are, a loan institution.."
With that alone, I should have went to the local news station and reported that, but I didn't. Instead, I searched more places, saw more doctors and kept getting the same answer, for it to be cut off and NOW.
I was ready to give up because it get's tiring hearing the same crap over and over and over again. My local doctor set me up at another hospital in another town and I swear it was the best treatment I ever had. I've never been around nurses that actually cared for your well being, doctors that took the time to tell you what needed to be done and actually answered questions, instead of the typical doctors I've dealt with, where all they say is yes, uh-huh and so forth.
I've never in my life been treated at a hospital like I mattered. These people are the best at what they do! I will never go to another hospital!

I was in and out of surgery in an hour, 30 minutes after surgery, I was on my way home.

The other hospitals, dermatologists and local offices all made me feel like this cancer was my fault and that treatment wasn't an option, as they wanted money upfront and in full. True story.

I've already started on some code, finished up a few logos and starting to write ideas down. I've also started writing more of my (ahem) book and caught up with a book (Kings Cell). I feel amazing, for lack of a better term. I haven't had this much energy in a lot of years!!

I believe I have pictures on Facebook, before surgery, after surgery and the sewn up shoulder. I think I posted a few pictures of the cancer a few months ago.

It seems a lot of stuff has gone on with everyone: Clots, Sepsis and even the loss of a child. I am happy that everyone is able to get on with life, regardless of how much hurt we continue to have in our lives.

A demo? I'm always up for demos :D As a matter of fact, I'm in the process of creating something totally mind-blowing and never seen before! I could use help in exploiting the routine to the fullest because once it's seen, I know others will improve on it, which is why I want to do everything possible with it. I think Kickback would be an ideal partner with this because we've worked so well together on past projects.

Thank you everyone! I am hoping the 1st brings good news, which I believe it will.

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